Get Growing! Tools and Strategies for Living, Working and Relating Well
The COVID-19 Challenge, Part II: Turning Losses Into Gains
April 27, 2020
It’s been over a month since COVID-19 began to significantly impact our daily lives. Here in Illinois, Governor Pritzker has extended the social distancing/stay-at-home order through May 30th. All of us have been affected by this pandemic in one way or another. Even time feels different, flying by in a blur without the usual cues or markers that distinguish one day from the next...what day is it anyway?
On the upside, there are still many great examples of people creatively coping with these challenges. My niece attended a BYOB brunch via Zoom (get it-Bring Your Own Brunch!). Many are dining with friends and family via Facetime and Skype. Speaking of food, my husband declared that stay-at-home, means stay-at-fridge. While he fears packing on the dreaded COVID-15, at least now he has more time for exercise.
But when this new normal starts getting to me, and yes that happens to life coaches too, I need go no further than my living room window for comfort and a gentle reminder that life goes on. I live in a very pedestrian-friendly neighborhood. At almost any time of day, someone is out and about. Walking, jogging, running, riding bicycles, tricycles, skateboards and scooters. Even our local high school track team runs laps down our street, social distancing of course.
Yes, life goes on, yet many are experiencing a type of sadness that can’t be named. Beneath that sadness, is a sense of loss. The loss of social connection, normalcy and freedom. The loss of control over our daily lives. There are so many things we have to give up, at least for now.
For example, I love my Friday morning grocery runs, but COVID-19 has forced me to reconsider. Should I shop at the store and run the risk of exposure or order online from the safety of my home? What if the shopper picks mealy apples, stale bread or heaven forbid, slice the deli meat too thin? As my mother used to say, “That should be your biggest problem.” So how do we deal with these seemingly small yet important losses, while maintaining some semblance of control in the middle of a pandemic?
In their book Five Stages of Grief, Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler proposed five stages of grief that are associated with the loss of a loved one. Some have challenged their perspective, arguing that each of us grieves on our own timeline and in our own way. I’m not suggesting that the loss of social connection, freedom or control is the same as losing a loved one, but there are some parallels to consider. Look at these stages through the COVID-19 lens.
1. Denial – No way, this can’t be happening!
2. Anger – Seriously?! Well, I’m still going to work, still going to the gym, still...
3. Depression – This is terrible…I feel terrible.
4. Acceptance – I don’t like it, but it is what it is.
5. Finding Meaning/Hope – Surely something good will come out of this.
Sound familiar? In my last newsletter, I suggested that you focus on what you can do vs. what you can’t do. While I can’t go to the grocery store with peace of mind, I can order groceries online and pick them up curbside. Can’t is about loss. Can is about what you gain or at the very least, maintain. So in exchange for a little less control over what goes into my shopping cart, I got to drive to the store on a sunny day and have a nice chat (from a safe distance) with a young woman in a facemask and latex gloves as she loaded the groceries into my car. Worth the trade-off!
As promised, here is the COVID-19 Challenge: Part II. Starting right now, focus on what you can do. Think of all the times you lamented, If I only had more time, I would _____. Fill in the blank. If more than one thing comes to mind, choose the one that speaks to you the most. Then come up with 1-3 action steps and take that first step today! COVID-19 has given many of us the gift of extra time. Time to dream, plan and execute. Use it wisely.
Want to learn more about coping with grief and loss during COVID-19? Check this out!
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." ~ Theodore Roosevelt
If you know of anyone who might find this newsletter of interest, please feel free to pass it along ~
The COVID-19 Challenge, Part II: Turning Losses Into Gains
April 27, 2020
It’s been over a month since COVID-19 began to significantly impact our daily lives. Here in Illinois, Governor Pritzker has extended the social distancing/stay-at-home order through May 30th. All of us have been affected by this pandemic in one way or another. Even time feels different, flying by in a blur without the usual cues or markers that distinguish one day from the next...what day is it anyway?
On the upside, there are still many great examples of people creatively coping with these challenges. My niece attended a BYOB brunch via Zoom (get it-Bring Your Own Brunch!). Many are dining with friends and family via Facetime and Skype. Speaking of food, my husband declared that stay-at-home, means stay-at-fridge. While he fears packing on the dreaded COVID-15, at least now he has more time for exercise.
But when this new normal starts getting to me, and yes that happens to life coaches too, I need go no further than my living room window for comfort and a gentle reminder that life goes on. I live in a very pedestrian-friendly neighborhood. At almost any time of day, someone is out and about. Walking, jogging, running, riding bicycles, tricycles, skateboards and scooters. Even our local high school track team runs laps down our street, social distancing of course.
Yes, life goes on, yet many are experiencing a type of sadness that can’t be named. Beneath that sadness, is a sense of loss. The loss of social connection, normalcy and freedom. The loss of control over our daily lives. There are so many things we have to give up, at least for now.
For example, I love my Friday morning grocery runs, but COVID-19 has forced me to reconsider. Should I shop at the store and run the risk of exposure or order online from the safety of my home? What if the shopper picks mealy apples, stale bread or heaven forbid, slice the deli meat too thin? As my mother used to say, “That should be your biggest problem.” So how do we deal with these seemingly small yet important losses, while maintaining some semblance of control in the middle of a pandemic?
In their book Five Stages of Grief, Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler proposed five stages of grief that are associated with the loss of a loved one. Some have challenged their perspective, arguing that each of us grieves on our own timeline and in our own way. I’m not suggesting that the loss of social connection, freedom or control is the same as losing a loved one, but there are some parallels to consider. Look at these stages through the COVID-19 lens.
1. Denial – No way, this can’t be happening!
2. Anger – Seriously?! Well, I’m still going to work, still going to the gym, still...
3. Depression – This is terrible…I feel terrible.
4. Acceptance – I don’t like it, but it is what it is.
5. Finding Meaning/Hope – Surely something good will come out of this.
Sound familiar? In my last newsletter, I suggested that you focus on what you can do vs. what you can’t do. While I can’t go to the grocery store with peace of mind, I can order groceries online and pick them up curbside. Can’t is about loss. Can is about what you gain or at the very least, maintain. So in exchange for a little less control over what goes into my shopping cart, I got to drive to the store on a sunny day and have a nice chat (from a safe distance) with a young woman in a facemask and latex gloves as she loaded the groceries into my car. Worth the trade-off!
As promised, here is the COVID-19 Challenge: Part II. Starting right now, focus on what you can do. Think of all the times you lamented, If I only had more time, I would _____. Fill in the blank. If more than one thing comes to mind, choose the one that speaks to you the most. Then come up with 1-3 action steps and take that first step today! COVID-19 has given many of us the gift of extra time. Time to dream, plan and execute. Use it wisely.
Want to learn more about coping with grief and loss during COVID-19? Check this out!
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." ~ Theodore Roosevelt
If you know of anyone who might find this newsletter of interest, please feel free to pass it along ~
