Get Growing! Tools and Strategies for Living, Working and Relating Well
"Don't Worry, Be Happy"
March 9, 2021
For some, fretting is a way of life, but the good news is you can tame that tiger. Ask a worry-wart to stop worrying and he or she will tell you “I can’t help it.” Worrying may feel out of your control, but in reality, it’s a choice. Like any bad habit, it can be changed with patience and practice.
Worry and fear ‘travel together.’ Worriers almost always point to something they’re afraid of as the source of their worry. But fear is not the enemy. Fear serves as an innate early warning system that alerts us to potential danger. The problem is that for many, worrying has become...a source of worry!
Worrying is counterproductive. It drains your energy and interferes with your ability to effectively deal with challenges. It keeps you focused on the negative rather than on the solution. So if worrying doesn’t help, why do you keep doing it? Maybe you think you’re supposed to.
If you know someone with a serious problem and they don’t appear worried, you may be suspect. What’s wrong with her? Doesn’t he care? Worry is seen as a indicator of emotional investment. The absence of worry look like a lack of interest or concern. Those who worry less have learned that worrying doesn’t help, so why waste valuable time and energy?
Research has shown that a perceived lack of control over personal outcomes causes anxiety, fear and worry. If you feel like you have no control, worrying can make you feel as if you’re doing something about the problem when in reality, you’re just worrying. For some, the only benefit of worrying is that it motivates them to take positive action, which then relieves the worry.
To get a handle on your worrying, ask yourself:
1) Is there is anything I can do to solve the problem I'm worried about? If yes, then take appropriate action.
2) How does worrying serve me?
3) What would happen if I stopped worrying?
If worry is a knee-jerk reaction and you can’t seem to control it, schedule several time-outs throughout the day for the sole purpose of worrying. Go into a room, close the door and worry to your heart’s content for at least one minute. By giving yourself permission to worry only during those time-outs, you acknowledge your worries without allowing them to consume your thoughts throughout the day.
Imagine you’re planning a large outdoor party and several days before the event, the weather forecast is predicting rain. What do you think would be most effective solution to this problem?
A) See if it’s possible to move the party indoors.
B) See if it’s possible to rent a tent in time for the party.
C) If A and B are not possible, notify the guests of a possible change in plans including a rain date.
D) Worry
You get the idea...
Michael Jordan said he didn’t allow what he couldn’t control, to get inside his head. He recognized that doing so would interfere with his goal of winning. When you allow worry to hijack your time and attention, to interfere with your ability to solve a problem or let go of what you can’t control, worry wins and you lose.
“Why would I think about missing a shot I haven’t taken?” ~ Michael Jordan
A Good Read...
“Worry-Free Living: Trading Anxiety for Peace” by Joyce Meyer
If you haven't checked out my Facebook page, what are you waiting for? If you like what you see, please Like, Share, Comment. And while you're at it, check out my new blog as well.
In the next edition of "Get Growing! Tools and Strategies for Living, Working and Relating Well," I'll be exploring ANGER; how it gets us into trouble and how to express it in a healthy manner.
If you know of someone who might enjoy this newsletter, feel free to pass it along.
Want to stop worrying? Check this out!
"Don't Worry, Be Happy"
March 9, 2021
- Are you a worry-wart?"
- Do you ruminate over what might or might not happen?
- Do you feel anxious or uneasy about things you can’t control?
For some, fretting is a way of life, but the good news is you can tame that tiger. Ask a worry-wart to stop worrying and he or she will tell you “I can’t help it.” Worrying may feel out of your control, but in reality, it’s a choice. Like any bad habit, it can be changed with patience and practice.
Worry and fear ‘travel together.’ Worriers almost always point to something they’re afraid of as the source of their worry. But fear is not the enemy. Fear serves as an innate early warning system that alerts us to potential danger. The problem is that for many, worrying has become...a source of worry!
Worrying is counterproductive. It drains your energy and interferes with your ability to effectively deal with challenges. It keeps you focused on the negative rather than on the solution. So if worrying doesn’t help, why do you keep doing it? Maybe you think you’re supposed to.
If you know someone with a serious problem and they don’t appear worried, you may be suspect. What’s wrong with her? Doesn’t he care? Worry is seen as a indicator of emotional investment. The absence of worry look like a lack of interest or concern. Those who worry less have learned that worrying doesn’t help, so why waste valuable time and energy?
Research has shown that a perceived lack of control over personal outcomes causes anxiety, fear and worry. If you feel like you have no control, worrying can make you feel as if you’re doing something about the problem when in reality, you’re just worrying. For some, the only benefit of worrying is that it motivates them to take positive action, which then relieves the worry.
To get a handle on your worrying, ask yourself:
1) Is there is anything I can do to solve the problem I'm worried about? If yes, then take appropriate action.
2) How does worrying serve me?
3) What would happen if I stopped worrying?
If worry is a knee-jerk reaction and you can’t seem to control it, schedule several time-outs throughout the day for the sole purpose of worrying. Go into a room, close the door and worry to your heart’s content for at least one minute. By giving yourself permission to worry only during those time-outs, you acknowledge your worries without allowing them to consume your thoughts throughout the day.
Imagine you’re planning a large outdoor party and several days before the event, the weather forecast is predicting rain. What do you think would be most effective solution to this problem?
A) See if it’s possible to move the party indoors.
B) See if it’s possible to rent a tent in time for the party.
C) If A and B are not possible, notify the guests of a possible change in plans including a rain date.
D) Worry
You get the idea...
Michael Jordan said he didn’t allow what he couldn’t control, to get inside his head. He recognized that doing so would interfere with his goal of winning. When you allow worry to hijack your time and attention, to interfere with your ability to solve a problem or let go of what you can’t control, worry wins and you lose.
“Why would I think about missing a shot I haven’t taken?” ~ Michael Jordan
A Good Read...
“Worry-Free Living: Trading Anxiety for Peace” by Joyce Meyer
If you haven't checked out my Facebook page, what are you waiting for? If you like what you see, please Like, Share, Comment. And while you're at it, check out my new blog as well.
In the next edition of "Get Growing! Tools and Strategies for Living, Working and Relating Well," I'll be exploring ANGER; how it gets us into trouble and how to express it in a healthy manner.
If you know of someone who might enjoy this newsletter, feel free to pass it along.
Want to stop worrying? Check this out!
