In my previous blog post (1-10-22), I focused on communication styles, i.e. talking too much. If you think you talk too much and it causes problems, ask yourself the following questions. Your answers may shed some light on a solution.
1. Why do I talk too much?
2. How does talking too much serve me?
3. What are the negative consequences of talking too much?
4. How might my relationships change if I stopped talking too much?
Once you have a better understanding of what motivates your behavior, you can begin to change it.
Know someone who talks too much? Any suggestions for how they can stop? I’d love to hear from you.
"You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.” ~ Groucho Marx
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been accused of talking too much…I see lots of hands. Now raise your hand if you’re a woman who's ever been accused of talking too much…Wow, I lost count!
In the past, neuroscientists attributed this 'phenomenon' to differences between the male and female brain, speculating that the parts of the brain responsible for emotion and communication were larger or more highly developed in women than in men. Truth is, there is little if any difference between the male and female brain other than its size, which is relative to the difference in body size between males and females.
It all boils down to nature/nurture i.e. how your genetic inheritance in combination with life experience (your environment) shapes your personality. So, what does it mean to talk too much? Is there any way to quantify it, or would others just prefer you talk less?
If you’re been accused of talking too much, ask yourself, is the problem me or him/her? If you think your communication style could stand a few tweaks, make a list of things you would like to improve and then change your behavior accordingly. If you’re fine with it, then don’t allow someone else to cramp your style. Talk is cheap, but as long as you're being true to yourself and respectful of others, it’s all good.
A Good Read:
“Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty…And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, and Unapologetically Being Yourself” by Dr. Aziz Gazipura
Have you ever been accused of talking too much? How did it make you feel? What, if anything did you do about it? I’d love to hear your comments.
I coach women of all ages, but my specialty is coaching women at midlife and beyond.