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Live to Work, Work to Live...Love to Work? How to Make Peace With It All

4/25/2022

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Whether you live to work, work to live or love to work, healthy work/life balance is necessary, so that work doesn't take on a life of its own. 

Workaholics tend to lose themselves in work, sometimes driven by innate
passion and the desire to be the best they can be in their respective work roles. 


The flip side of the coin is the workaholic who is driven by demons i.e. living beyond their means or being stuck in a job they hate but desperately need.  For others, work provides an escape from personal problems.

When you look in the mirror and see your job description staring back at you, it's time to take pause. While there's nothing wrong with your identity being reflected in your work, if you don't know who you are outside of it, you've got a problem. If any of these aforementioned challenges sound familiar, ask yourself:


  • What would my life look like if I had a healthier relationship with work?
  • Other than financial support, how does work serve me?
  • Besides myself, who might I be harming as a result of work-related behavior that is out of balance?
  • What needs to change in terms of my relationship with work?
  • Do I define my work or does my work define me?

Keep in mind, nothing changes until you identify the problem and then... work on it!

"Nothing will work unless you do." Maya Angelou

​A Good Read: 
"Love and Work: How to Find What You Love, Love What You Do, and Do it For The Rest of Your Life" by Marcus Buckingham

To learn more about how to navigate the pitfalls and challenges of work, click here. 

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Are You Up for the Challenge?

2/23/2022

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​As the end of the month draws near, we’re reminded of all the ‘must –do’s” that didn’t get done. Whether it’s something small like going through that pile of papers on your desk or a ‘big ticket item’ like starting a job search, the only way to cross it off your to-do list is to take strategic action.
 
Easier said than done, but in all likelihood, not as difficult as you think. I CHALLENGE YOU to choose one item from your to-do list and get it done by the end of the month. For a ‘big-ticket item’ ask yourself, what one reasonable first step can I take to get the ball rolling? Then take that step by February 28. The first step is the hardest, but before you know it, you’re done!
 
Were you up for the challenge? I’d love to hear your success stories, so let me know how it goes.
 
“Nothing changes until something changes.”  ~ Unknown Source

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Happy Belated Valentine's Day...By Design

2/15/2022

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​Happy Valentine’s Day! Why so late? As a reminder that you can express love and appreciation for your significant other any day of the year. Strong, healthy relationships don’t just happen. They take time and require MAINTENANCE.
 
So what can you do to build/maintain a strong, healthy relationship? Simple. Do the things you used to do when you were courting. For example:
 
  • Listen attentively
  • Say please and thank you
  • If you say you’re going to do something…do it!
  • Think before you speak
  • Be a good friend
  • Keep it real – Speak your truth
  • Manage anger: take a time out, count to ten. Don’t have a discussion or make decisions when you’re angry
  • Be kind and respectful
  • Set and maintain healthy boundaries
  • Bottom Line: Treat your partner as you would like to be treated.
 
A Good Read:
The Science of Interpersonal Relationships: A Practical Guide to Building Healthy Relationships, Improving Your Soft Skills and Learning Effective Communication by Ian Tuhovsky.
 
What do you do to keep your relationship going strong? I’d love to hear from you.
 

Want to learn more about building better relationships? Check this out. 
www.shelleyweisscohen.com/romantic-relationships-how-to-stay-strong-and-connected-over-the-long-haul.html 

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Yakety-Yak...The Solution

2/7/2022

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My last two posts (1/10 and 1/19) were about talking too much and what you can do about it. Now it’s time to put the pedal to the metal. Learning to speak to others without droning on endlessly or interrupting requires patience and a sense of timing. The fine art of conversation is simply about listening and then waiting for a natural break in the conversation before you speak.
 
First, find a buddy to practice with. Choose a topic and have your buddy start speaking first. It’s your job to listen carefully and remain silent until you notice a natural break in the conversation. Then it’s your turn to speak. Be mindful of how long you speak. Try to get your point across in a timely manner, then pause. At this juncture, get feedback and suggestions from your buddy before you continue.

To take your conversational skills to the next level, use a timer and take turns listening for two minutes and then speaking for two minutes. This will help you become a better listener and control the urge to speak for too long. Before you know it, you’ll become adept at the natural flow, rhythm and cadence of conversation and find it even more enjoyable as a result.

Lastly, shift your priorities. Make conversation just as much about listening and what you can learn from the other person as it is about getting your point across. At the end of every conversation, make it a point to ask yourself: what was my biggest takeaway? If you were actively engaged in both listening and speaking, this will be an easy question to answer. 


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Yakety-Yak...Part 2

1/19/2022

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In my previous blog post (1-10-22), I focused on communication styles, i.e. talking too much. If you think you talk too much and it causes problems, ask yourself the following questions. Your answers may shed some light on a solution.
 
1. Why do I talk too much?
2. How does talking too much serve me?
3. What are the negative consequences of talking too much?
                                                                      4. How might my relationships change if I stopped talking too much?
 
Once you have a better understanding of what motivates your behavior, you can begin to change it.


Know someone who talks too much?           Any suggestions for how they can stop?           I’d love to hear from you. 

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    I coach women of all ages, but my specialty is coaching women at midlife and beyond.
    I help my clients strengthen relationships, work smarter, figure out what's next and rediscover the confident, capable woman within.

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